Saturday, January 2, 2010

5dpIUI (but who's counting)

That would be, five days past IUI and already jumping out of my skin! Just 7 more days, and I'll know if the IUI was successful. This is going to be a very long week. But I suppose that by now, I'm used to waiting. In fact, I believe that I've become an expert at waiting.

What most people who have not dealt with infertility fail to understand is the overall toll that infertility and treatments begin to take. TTC is emotional whether you have infertility or not, but for those of us with diagnosed issues, the toll is only that much more exaggerated. We're (both Bob and I) forced to go through humiliating tests, constant intrusion into our personal lives, hormone inducing medications and constant monitoring. The intimate nature between Bob and I of "making a baby" has been completely stripped away and been reduced to our DNA being passed from hand to hand and finally making it's way into a syringe.

The thought that someone is actually making money (and a lot of it) off of our trying to have a baby is nauseating to me. The fact that most insurance companies cover little to no infertility is borderline immoral, pushing families to drain savings or take out loans in the hopes that *maybe* they will become parents.

And then, we wait. And wait. And wait. And when we're done with that waiting, yep, we wait some more. Waiting for our next cycle. Waiting for our next RE appointment. Waiting to begin our next round of medication. Waiting to see if we have enough follicles or not enough. Waiting to see if our husbands tests come back okay. Waiting for that BFP. Or waiting for more disappointment with a BFN.

"But those who wait upon the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

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