Oh, those pesky hormones!

I began using the Prometrium suppositories x2 daily and I can already feel the hormonal effects. Bloated, crabby, sore boobies and just generally icky. And not to be too TMI, but when you're using suppositories, not everything stays where it's supposed to (I know, ewww!) But the progesterone is supposed to help make my lining thicker and better for implantation, so bring it on!

I keep telling myself that it's all going to be worth it, but honestly, I'm just worn out. Only 11 more days until I can take a HPT...

And the waiting begins (again!)

We had the IUI done yesterday morning and everything went very well. Bob's sperm count was excellent (yes, he had his He-Man moment with 48 million post wash). Other than the cramping that I felt into the afternoon and evening, I'm feeling pretty good.

Tomorrow (CD15), I'll begin daily progesterone suppositories up until (and possibly after) I take a HPT on January 11 (okay, probably before that). So once again, we're back to the 2ww. What's a little more waiting, right? Other than the fact that these two weeks have the potential for changing the life of our family in a very real way.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous or scared or anxious, because I am. We've been through so much in the last 20 months. It's not just being scared about whether I'll be able to conceive again, but will I be able to carry another baby to term? But then I am gently reminded of Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Today, I rest in the promise that God will grant me the peace to make it through the next 2 weeks and hopefully, into the next 9 months.

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

I went in for an US on Christmas Eve (CD9) and assumed that I'd be ready for the IUI on Saturday, but my body was not quite there yet. So it's been a few more days of Bravelle with the Ganirelix. When I went for my monitoring on Saturday morning (CD11), we saw three fat follicles that will definitely be ready. I took my Ovidrel injection last night and we're scheduled for the IUI tomorrow morning. Bob will go first at 8am and I follow at 9am.

I can't tell you how glad I am to be done with the injections! No more bruised belly! After the IUI, I'll begin Progesterone suppositories for at least 14 days and possibly longer into my pregnancy (trying to think positive here).

Please think of Bob and I over the next few weeks, first with the IUI and then that we have successful implantation.

IUI cycle - CD7

I had another US this morning with Dr. Park at Carolina Conceptions to check my follicle growth. It looks like I have four very nice follicles on the left side, with two doing really well. I also have a few on the right side, but much smaller and won't effect my cycle.

I continue with my Bravelle injections for tonight and tomorrow night, adding in an additional injection of Ganirelix each night. While the Bravelle will continue to help grow nice, healthy follicles, the Ganirelix will prevent me from ovulating too soon. I have another US on 12/24. At that point, they'll be able to tell me more definitively when I'll need to take the injection of Ovidrel (to make me release the egg) and when the IUI will happen. At the rate I'm going, Dr. Park seems the think the IUI will happen either 12/26 or 12/27 - a few days earlier than I had anticipated.

Please continue to keep Bob and I in your prayers. Praying for a miracle in the New Year!

IUI cycle - CD6

Yes, in a very last minute decision, we are doing an IUI w/injectables this cycle (with our own, hard-earned money!!!). The timing was perfect in my cycle and we really feel as though God just dropped it in our lap, so we really feel at peace with this decision.

So here's what I've been up to so far:
CD1 - I had an ultrasound (US) to check for cysts and to make sure this cycle was a go (which, luckily, it is!)
CD3 - I began the injectable medication Bravelle. It initially freaked me out with all the mixing and the thought of injecting myself in the stomach. It took me five minutes just to get the nerve to inject, but when I did, I found that it was virtually painless.
CD4 - Injection
CD5 - Injection (I'm a pro by now :-))

And tonight for CD6, it's another injection. Tomorrow morning, I go in for another US to check the status and to determine if I need to stay on this dosage of meds. I'll also get my next plan for injections, monitoring, etc. If all goes as planned, we're looking at an insertion on 12/30 or 12/31.

I'm really excited about what we're doing with the IUI and I'm praying that this is what it takes this time. Please keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks.

Private or not?

When I started this blog, I wanted a place to talk about the struggles of TTC and specifically, secondary infertility. I've been completely honest and open about the physical, emotional and mental aspects of infertility. And what began as a personal journey became a place for friends and family to gain a peak into what we are going through. It's also given me the privilege of connecting with other women who are also struggling with infertility. Even those I've never met IRL. Never did I even imagine that this deeply personal information would be used against us or turned into something ugly. But what I've come to realize is that when you make yourself vulnerable, you may have people who try to hurt you, knowing that you are so vulnerable.

We recently dealt with such a person who took our journey and turned it into something ugly and hurtful. We were accused of trying to steal money from family to pay for infertility treatments and other absurdities. My immediate response was to try to guard myself and my family and turn my blogs private. What I came to realize though is that by doing so, I was letting that person win. I was letting them have the control. The truth is that what they said had nothing to do with me or Bob and what we were going through - it had to do with them and the condition of their heart. Matthew 12:34 says that, "from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." Meaning, what you store in your heart will flow out of your mouth and from your life. If you store up evil, you will produce evil things and words. If you store up good, your life produces good. And oh boy, did we ever see the condition of that person's heart. How sad.

So after all of that, I've decided that my blogs will go back to being public. I'm so grateful for all of the unbelievable love and support that we've received over the last year and want to thank you all for the continued support. I'm actually really excited about what we have going on right now and I'm praying that we'll be pregnant after the new year.