Even though I walk through the valley

I have such fond memories of Psalm 23. It was one of the first chapters of the Bible that I memorized and fell in love with as a child. The passage conjures the most beautiful images of green fields and calm streams. I would imagine myself lying in a bed of soft grass, scattered with the most beautiful flowers I'd ever seen. And I never felt alone; I knew that God was there with me. I felt secure and safe in the promise of Psalm 23. I believed it fervently with child-like faith.

And as beautiful and beloved a passage that it is, there is also a dark reality. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." It sounds so scary. So desolate. So lonely. And "walk" is almost funny to me by now. It sometimes feels as though I've stopped walking a long time ago and I've set-up camp in the valley. But David didn't use the word stop or stay. No, he said, "walk." It implies that the movement continues. We may move a little more slowly at times, but as we walk through the valley we rest in the promise that we won't be there forever.

In the last two years, I have literally walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I did the unthinkable for a parent and said goodbye to a son. I walked through the valley. I learned that I was infertile. I walked through the valley. We struggled with ways to pay for IVF. I walked through the valley. But perhaps the best part of this entire passage comes with the next part of verse 4. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." I may have to walk through the valley, but I'm not there alone. God is with me in every step. He supports. He comforts. He loves.

Right now, I can feel that I'm trekking up the mountainside. IVF will be tough. It will be hard physically on my body. It will be hard on me emotionally. It will force me to be selfish, setting up injection and monitoring schedules around my bodies delicate cycle. But, oh, the view at the top will be absolutely breath-taking. And when I stand on that mountain, I can look back at that valley and thank God for helping me make it through.

It's the valleys that make the mountain top that much sweeter.