Vacation Crasher

We got away this week for a few days to the beach and AF crashed, showing up on our first night. Beautiful. So I'm back on the crazy pills (for a month this time) and going right into my next IVF cycle, a "flare" protocol this time. I'll go in for another IVF class within the next few weeks so I can get my new med. schedule and get a timeline for ER and ET (which, of course I know means nothing because anything can change). The bummer is that based on my timeline, I could be looking at ER and ET around the same time that Mason begins Kindergarten in July. But I can't stress about it now and we'll deal with it when we get there.

Overall, I think I'm doing pretty well this time. I knew. I knew that this was not my month. I was hopeful, but I know my body well enough that by 8DPO, it wasn't going to happen this time. I still remain hopeful, though. I'm so lucky that I have the option of going into another IVF cycle. I'm also trusting God's timing. That's a hard thing to do.

I've surmised that there are things that I will never fully understand in this life, my infertility being one of them. I keep asking God the "why's," and that's okay. But the fact is that we don't always have an answer. And then, sometimes we do, and we still don't understand. Like when the answer is no. Or, not right now. It may seem like a simple, pure enough request, that is, to have another baby. But I can't see everything from my vantage point; but God can. I'm trusting that as good of a life that I can imagine for myself, He wants something beyond what I can even fathom. Something so good and so right that my dreams don't even compare.

The silver lining of it all is that despite AF showing up uninvited, we had a beautiful time at the beach. Mason loves the beach. He's my beach beach baby, spending the first 18 months of his life there when we lived in FL. We had some great family time and got recharged for what lies ahead. Even though our everyday life is full of making memories, it's important to pause and enjoy a few days of exclusive family time. Life is good.