Six Words

I think it's safe to say that I've identified six of the toughest words to say in the english language - "I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"

But why exactly is it so hard? We all know that we're not perfect and that we do make mistakes. Even still, it's not in our nature to apologize or even to want to accept an apology. It's hard to say that we're wrong. It's easier to blame. It's easier to make excuses or give reasons. We don't want to be accountable.

But why? The simple answer: sin. Yep, that's a hard one to swallow. But here's the truth: we all sin. Sin is part of our DNA.

"the Lord God asked. "Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?"
The man replied, "It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it."
The the Lord God asked the woman, "What have you done?"
"The serpent deceived me," she replied. "That's why I ate it.""
(Genesis 3:23-24 - NLT)

Of course, this is what people refer to as the "original" sin. But nothing has changed. It's almost laughable to imagine Adam and Eve arguing with God, pointing fingers and taking absolutely no responsibility for their actions. But regardless of their actions, there were adverse consequences. And to this day, there are still consequences for our actions.

But where does forgiveness play into all of this? When we've offended someone else, then we in turn have sinned. The only way to right this wrong is to ask for forgiveness. And not in a way that it allows us to simply check it off your list of things to do. No, I'm talking true, heartfelt remorse for what we've done.

In the last week alone, I've had to ask for forgiveness in a few circumstances that were tough. I mean, I messed up BIG TIME. And these weren't issues where I had faulted someone in the last day or week or even in the last month. Nope, we're talking more than six months ago I had offended someone's heart and it took me that long to ask for forgiveness. Pretty bad, huh? And the tricky aspect about forgiveness is that even though I may ask for someone's forgiveness, it doesn't mean that I'll actually be forgiven. But I'm so grateful that that part doesn't matter quite so much. Of course, if reconciliation is what you seek, then it is important for that other person be willing to forgive in order to move forward. But what if you ask and they won't forgive you? You're job is done. If you've asked with a pure, genuine heart and they still say no, you can't control whether they forgive and you can let go of it. Because as much as we'd love to hear, "Yes, I forgive you," it's not necessary to move forward. After all, when you ask for forgiveness, it's for you as much as it is for the person you've offended.

I love the saying, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die." That gives me such a poignant image of not forgiving. It's poison to our bodies. It's toxic. Unforgiveness is as much a sin as is not asking for forgiveness. Talk about a lose/lose situation.

The moral of this story is that regardless of how bad I mess up, I know one who will always forgive me and his name is Jesus. No matter how bad I mess up, I know that I'm forgiven. That's a beautiful promise.