Okay, not really ;-) But I am doing yoga for the first time and absolutely LOVING it! Since I'm now working at a health club and have a free membership, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of all that it has to offer, including the awesome classes, with yoga being one of them.
So a little about my history. I have dealt with eating disorders and exercise addiction in the past. So you may be thinking, "How could exercising a lot be bad?" Well, when you do it for three hours a day, coupled with hardly eating, yeah, then it can be bad. But it's been over 10 years since I've overcome anorexia and the addictive exercise compulsion and I'm finally at a place where I just want to be healthy and feel good. I know that I have to be careful because it's amazing how quickly those feelings from the past can resurface (addictions and disorders are very sneaky that way), but now I know the warning signs and I know how not to abuse it.
So back to yoga. As I get ready for a new fertility journey this year, I was looking for additional ways to deal with the stress and anxiety that inevitably arises from fertility treatments and yoga seems to be it.
There are a few things that I really like about yoga. First, it's incredibly relaxing. The music, coupled with the dim lighting and calm, metered breathing instantly relaxes me. I leave feeling relaxed and refreshed. I've also learned that if I want to do cardio, I need to do so BEFORE my yoga class, otherwise I'll never get on that elliptical machine.
Next, I love that it's an hour of uninterrupted prayer time. Other than when the instructor quietly announces a new pose, I have some awesome time with the Lord. I talk to God, pray for friends and family and just connect with Him in a very intimate way. I can close my eyes (okay, most of the time, if I can balance a pose without toppling over :-) and block out everything around me and it's just me and God.
Third, I know that I'm doing something good and healthy for my body. It's amazing how you can feel parts of your body that you didn't even know were there! So yes, the first few times I was pretty darn sore. But now, I'm getting used to it and I'm able to do more poses without walking like an old woman the next day. And although I'm naturally pretty flexible, with yoga, I've become even more so. And just as a side note ladies: your husbands will like this element of you doing yoga, too! (hint, hint. wink, wink).
And last, yoga gives me some sense of control when everything in my world can feel so out of control, especially when it relates to infertility.
When you are dealing with medically diagnosed infertility, especially "unexplained infertility," you can feel helpless. There's this feeling that if you actually knew what was wrong with you, then you could try to fix it or get the medical help that you need. But when it's "unexplained," it can be incredibly frustrating, because there's no more tests or procedures or medications that you can take (other than fertility drugs and treatments). It just "is what it is" (Bob hates when I say this!), but it's so true. Couple the "unexplained" with "secondary," and it's a whole new level of frustration. I know what my body is capable of. I CAN get pregnant; I've done it twice. So why can't I now? Why is my body failing me? And in reality, what I'm really feeling is that I have failed.
So when I do yoga, I can control my body and poses and breathing and my thoughts, even for an hour. And hopefully, my body will begin to remember just what it's capable of (hey, I can dream, right?) Or when we do resume treatments and I'm relying on doctors and medications to make my body do what it needs to do in order to become pregnant and stay pregnant, at least I'll have some sense of control in a very out of control time.
And to top off this post, I just happened to come across an article from Sunday's New York Times that talks about the benefits of yoga when you're dealing with infertility. Just to be clear, it's not saying that if you do yoga, you'll get pregnant. But it is saying that there are direct benefits of yoga while undergoing treatments and trying to get pregnant when you have infertility. Oh, and it's not saying, "Just relax and you'll get pregnant." Which, by the way, you should NEVER, EVER say to to someone who is struggling with infertility. That is, unless you don't want to make it out of the room alive!
And for your reading pleasure, here's that article: Yoga's Stress Relief: And Aid for Infertility? Enjoy!
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