It's Okay to Not be Okay

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, 
just as in fact you are doing." 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

To say I've been in a funk lately is the understatement of the century. The last few weeks have been tough for me and I've definitely been struggling. It's not one thing in particular, but a culmination of many things that have piled up to make one ginormous pile of doody (I think I stole that expression from Mason). 

And if you're anything like me, no matter how bad you may be feeling or how much you may be struggling, you start off by trying to hide it from everyone around you. Sure, you pray about it, tell yourself that you're surrendering, but it's still there. Hanging over you. Not matter how hard you try to shake it, it's still there.

And you don't ask for help (at least not right away), because then it will show your weakness, make yourself too vulnerable. After all, you're the one who's supposed to be supporting others, encouraging others.

And then, after you put up this front long enough and you can no longer maintain the facade, the cracks begin to show. Maybe not to everyone, but to just a few.

This week, I cracked. Not much, but just enough for my weakness to show to those who loved me and cared about me. 

Within a few days time, I had five, yes, FIVE, friends contact me either in person, over the phone, by text or by email to see what was going on with me. I had told no one how I was feeling. I made no mention that I was struggling or what was going on in the last few weeks. God knew what He was doing.

You see, when you do get into a funk, it's easy to tell yourself that you're alone, that no one cares. But friends are God's way of reminding us of just how close He is to us. When you've invested in strong, Godly relationships (like I'm so thankful I have), He's going to use those around us to pick each other up when we don't have the strength to do it ourselves. God makes himself evident to us through the lives around us. 

I'm very grateful to say that I'm slowly starting to feel much better. I feel like the fog is lifting and although I'm not 100% and the problems and issues that were there before are still here, I'm beginning to cope much better. 

I have to remind myself that it's okay to not be okay; there's no such person as Super Woman. That sometimes I'm going to be the one who needs to be encouraged. That I can't do it one my own. That when I am weak, He is strong.