Tired

Physically, emotionally, mentally. I'm just tired. Not to mention the fact that I was up watching old episodes of Family Ties on hulu and playing solitaire until 2am. Sweet tea is evil. I've got to cut myself off in the afternoon. Yeah, so I can start on the hard liquor! 

Today I start on CD10-20 0f guaifenesin (aka Mucinex) to begin to "thin" my mucus (yes, it thins ALL sorts of mucus). Eww, right? So very TMI but so part of my life right now. I also continue the Estradiol for a few more days. Who ever thought I'd be doing all this? Certainly not me! 

I was thinking about when Bob and I decided to TTC with Mason. We went out to our favorite restaurant, had a nice dinner and bottle of wine and he said, "You want to try for a baby?" "Sure!", I said enthusiastically! Then we finished the bottle of wine (and maybe a second one) went home and one cycle later... TADA! We were pregnant with Mason. Of course, we had our struggles with that pregnancy too, losing Mason's twin at 8 weeks pregnant. They called it a "vanishing twin," as if the baby decided to leave town on a shopping excursion without telling anyone. But after that, other than some wicked morning sickness, my first pregnancy was easy and a non-event.

Then came TTC for the second time. I ask Bob, "Do think I should have my Mirena taken out so we can TTC?" He responds, "Sure, why not?" I have it removed and 3 weeks later, BOOM, I'm preggers. I swear it only took one time while ovulating and I conceived. Of course, we know how that pregnancy turned out. 

And so here I am, TTC for the third time and absolutely desperate to become pregnant and to have another child and for the life of me, I can't get pregnant! Okay, so I shouldn't say "can't", but it's just very difficult this time around. And I think that's what boggles my mind so much. In the past, it was like speaking the words and I was pregnant. Now I'm doing everything possible for me right now and it's not happening. 

So I hear ALL sorts of advice from people. Just relax. Don't stress over it. Have more sex. Have fun! Uh, yeah, tried all those and I'm still not preggers. 

I made a "suggestion" to Bob that he may want to go to an Urologist just to make sure everything is okay with "the boys". He's not crazy about it, but he's willing. I also told him he's not longer allowed to ride his bike in the morning until we get pregnant again. Hey, you never know how it may effect everything down there. For the time being, I'm not leaving any stone unturned. 

I'm off to take my tired, non-pregnant butt to the pool with Mason.