Taking it slowly

Yes, I know I disappeared for the last three months. Life has a way of getting away from us and here it is, already half-way through May.

We've been busy over the last few months and so much has happened. So much life has happened. Not exactly what we had hoped for or what we had planned, but isn't it always that way?

Part of me really missed writing about what was going on and another part of me just needed a break. A break from the the constant updates, reports and disappointing news. Not all bad of course, just a lot of time spent in the valley.

So here's a recap of the last few months:

- I turned 34 in March. Yikes! 34 years old. I don't feel 34. I don't think I look 34. In fact, I'm really enjoying this decade. My 30's have been good. Bob surprised me with a night away to Chapel Hill, where we stayed at The Franklin Hotel, had dinner at this sweet little Italian Cafe walking distance from our hotel and the most delicious dessert at Sugarland. We slept in, had a relaxing breakfast; it was heaven. My husband is awesome.

The view from our balcony at The Franklin Hotel

Dinner at 411 West Italian Cafe

The Presidential Suite - Our room for the night

- I'm working and loving it. I've been working part-time for six months now and I'm seriously loving it. Sure, the people I work with are great, but I love that I have something for me. Not that I didn't love being home with Mason, but now that he's been in Kindergarten, it's been nice to have something outside the home. For so long, I kept waiting, putting my life on hold thinking that I'd be pregnant again. We can't put our lives on hold hoping for something that is completely out of our control. Life keeps moving, and so should we. Or else, we risk missing out on the very best that God has in store for us.

- I went through a failed IVF cycle. Yeah, not the highlight of the last few months. We moved forward with a new fresh, IVF cycle at the end of March and all in all, the cycle was seamless. So different from last year's cycle. No cysts. Perfect ultrasounds and blood draws. Flawless. We knew going into it that I wasn't going to come out of egg retrieval (ER) with 20 eggs, so we were more than thrilled with 9 we got. With 6 mature and 5 of those fertilizing with ICSI, we really felt like we were on a roll. We transfered back two, three-day embryos on Good Friday and on May 3rd, got the dreaded news of BFN. It was hard and exhausting and I'm so glad we did it. I would not have changed a thing (other than getting pregnant, of course). The great news is that we have two remaining, absolutely beautiful, Grade A Blasts that are frozen for an option of moving forward with a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). It's a heck of a lot less invasive, less medications, and costs less (even though still not cheap.) I'll keep you all updated (when I'm ready, that is).

- Celebrating Mother's Day. It's always bitter-sweet for me. I'm absolutely blown away at just how blessed I am to have Mason, and yet I can't help but to miss Robert. It also fell this year just a few days after we found out that the cycle had failed, so a little bit of a bummer. But believe me, I know what I have. I know that I'm blessed. But it's still allowed to hurt. It's okay. On another note, Mother's Day fell on May 8th this year, the 15 year anniversary of when I gave my mom a kidney. Seems fitting to fall on that day. My mom and I have definitely had our share of struggles over the years, but our relationship is truly a testimony to the power of God and the beauty of reconciliation. Forgiveness is a powerful thing.

So slowly but surely, I'll be writing and blogging again. I can't promise that I'll give all the in's and out's of every personal detail of my life while it's happening, but I'm definitely back.